it’s okay to be selfish

I know I know, you’re thinking, “When is it ever a good thing to be selfish?”

I’m a perfectionist. I like to be the best, I like to do it exactly right, just as the teacher said. I like to be the class-favorite, the one who’s good at what she does. It’s a pride thing, and I fully admit to that.

Sometimes, I find myself worrying so much about what other people are going to think that I forget about myself. Even when I’m feeling like my heart will explode, or I’ll throw up, or my legs will give out, I suck it up and work harder simply because I want to impress whoever is there. I need to slow down and remind myself to take care, to give it a break. My mother is constantly reminding me not to overdo it – she’s right, it’s not healthy, mentally or physically.

In a yoga class recently, I realized I was focused so much on what my teacher would think of me that I had stopped thinking about myself! In many areas of life (but in yoga especially) it is all about YOU. Not anyone else, no competition, just YOU. I realize that this is an unusual situation since normally our lives are focused on serving and bettering others. This is an exception that helps prove the point…

A friend of mine said, “Always give the best you have that day to give. But that doesn’t mean you have to be the best!”

It’s so true! The best you have to offer is just that – YOURS. It’s yours to give, yours to show. We do our very best, not for everyone else to see or notice, but for ourselves! To push us, to keep moving, to grow.

Be selfish with your best. :-)

Finding Balance

Did anyone else notice how quickly 2013 flew by? <loud whizzing noise as the year zooms past>

It did for me, at least. I think some people are saying that it really was faster, or that the days were shorter – there are some pretty crazy theories, but the point is that it passed us by without looking back. No second chances on last year, just first chances for this year.

The family dynamic has changed rapidly in the past few years, so, this year especially, I’ve been trying to make a point to work on each relationship. Happy family = happy life.

  • I work with/for my Dad, and when our schedules match up, we go shooting at the range. He recently bought me a workout tank that says, “EXERCISING MY RIGHT TO BARE ARMS” and every time I wear it I get compliments. ;-) I’d like to do more, but with the hours I work I think I end up spending more time with him than anyone else.
  • Mom and I sew every Tuesday afternoon and go to classes together at our new gym. We work out the dinner menu every week and schedule fun shopping sprees! Because my mom is the only member of the family with whom I don’t work, I want to make sure I put in time with her when I’m off. ♥
  • My brother (Peter) and I live across the hall, and have that kind of hallway relationship where you nod on your way into the bathroom, you wave on your way downstairs, you keep your distance while quietly acknowledging their existence. It’s a separate relationship than when we’re downstairs or at work, in the real world. We still sing and play duets, go on random late-night drives, take silly pictures, and are the only ones in the family that appreciate kombucha. We are almost too much of a team. :-)

It’s only been a month, but we’ve been busy and life is good! We (the four of us Squicciarini’s) are finally functioning as a unit - 
really working together. I think we were thrown off for a while when all the siblings got married [bam! bam! bam!] one after the other, but now I think we’re back on track and really settling comfortably into the “all-American” family life that we must accept is the new norm. We’ve found our balance.