by Julianna Squicciarini
Don’t know if you heard, but this is the third year in a row I’ve hosted my Valentine’s Day luncheon. Can you believe that?! I still remember when I first had this vision – where I was, what I was doing, how the idea formed in my mind…wow. And now, it’s really taken off and become something to which I look forward every year.
This time around, I sent out more invitations than I ever have in the past. The turnout was very good – 20 girls, including myself, plus my mother (representing my grandfather as a special guest) and my two speakers. Quick statistic: out of the twenty girls in attendance, without counting my own family, there were only three girls who had also attended the first two lunches. Isn’t it amazing how G-d moves us through different circles, bringing new people into our lives? My sphere of influence is apparently the same size as ever, but with an entirely new group of girls. It astonishes me.
This year, my aunt, Laura Guido, who is a happy, homeschooling mother of five, spoke. I was in her wedding, she was in my mom’s wedding - she and her family are beloved parts of our lives. Her talk centered around her testimony, how she eventually met her husband, and her marriage at the relatively late age of 30. I’m not sure about the other girls, but I find personal stories such as this very touching.
My other speaker was Denise Pohlman. Mrs. Pohlman is a member of our congregation. She is also a homeschool mom, and her family is in ATI (Advanced Training Institute). She is direct and wise, and I knew she would be able to easily share some nuggets of her wisdom with us. 
Her speech focused on the story of Ruth, using it as a springboard for teaching important truths, such as contentment and submission to authority.
The service at Maggiano’s Little Italy, where I held the event for the third year in a row, was as good as ever, and I do intend to go back there next year. In fact, I think I may have next year’s banquet planned down to the last detail right now. Makes things so much easier, you know? 
All in all, I was very, very pleased with how things went. I can only pray that the lives, hearts, and souls of the girls in attendance were inspired, and that they were encouraged through these speeches, fellowship, and bonding time.
Oh, and by the way: many people ask me, “Why Valentine’s Day? Why focus on and celebrate this perverted, pagan holiday?” Good question. At this time of year, girls my age are bombarded by images of chocolate, roses, hearts, cute couples, lip prints, soft teddy bears, red-pink-and-white stuff, lace, etc. The list goes on and on. There’s no getting around the fact that the world is celebrating love. Just as my family and I fight the current around Christmas and Easter, and ignore the bunnies and Santa Clauses everywhere, we could do that now. We could close our eyes to this and stay holed up for two months, waiting for them to put away the hearts and pink M&Ms. But this holiday deals with our emotions. This holiday reaches into our hearts and tugs at our heartstrings, demanding a reaction. At this young and impressionable age, being the emotional creatures we know we are, there’s no way we can ignore it. That’s not how G-d made us! For many girls, being single and lonely on/around Valentine’s Day can be so depressing. So sad. A girl tends to feel ignored or rejected around this time of year. Sure, I could try doing this luncheon in September, so no one thinks I’m “celebrating” or “promoting” Valentine’s Day. But I think by the time the actual holiday rolled around, all the great ideas and truths learned at the luncheon would be faded and/or forgotten. I want to boost the confidence of these girls right now; I want them to feel accepted, loved, and pure NOW. I want them to know that waiting for the right man, living under their parents’ authority, with pure hearts and minds is the right thing to do, and I want them to walk into Valentine’s Day with smiles, not tears. Happiness, not depression. Pink M&Ms from me!
I hope that explains everything. I don’t want you to misunderstand my motives or practice; I know the roots of Valentine’s Day – the rights and wrongs of that are for another post, another time. I *do* happen to like the idea of celebrating your love for your spouse. Not everyone celebrates that every day, like my parents do. 
Is Valentine’s Day the right time to do it? Maybe, maybe not. Perhaps you see it as having a costume party toward the end of October. Could be mistaken for something it’s not, right? Could be taken as a stamp of approval on a holiday with which you don’t agree. Well, the main point of this luncheon is to take the focus off of “I’m single and my parents want me to be pure <gag>” and onto “I’m single! And G-d has the perfect guy for me! One day, I’ll be happily married, and while I wait for that day, I’m going to focus on serving others, obeyign & respecting my parents, and preparing to be and Excellent Wife!”
I hope and pray that’s what comes across to these young women. This could have been the best year yet. I’m just thanking G-d for working out all the kinks, and touching the lives of at least a few of the girls there. Success!
We justified our “desertion” as a well-deserved break from throwing parties all year long. So for Purim 2009, don’t expect to see us around. We’ll be at an undisclosed location… somewhere on the east coast. 
